As American as Apple Pie – Super Tuesday: Anime Edition

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She’s the perfect candidate. She has values, charisma and class. She beloved by every group. How can she not get… What? She’s a man!? Hm… I think we shouldn’t let the public know about that… What? Her husband is really a woman!? Well that explains everything…

whitehatazn-48.jpgI was watching College GameDay on ESPN last Saturday and they had an interesting segment relating to United States’ Tuesday Primaries. They decided to have a debate with the cast of commentators: Hubert Davis, Digger Phelps and Jay Bilas. They were going for the “college basketball president” and the students (the show was being broadcasted from UCLA at the time) voted on which “candidate” they liked. What made the segment interesting was the debate responses which while sounding pseudo-political, the responses were tied to some of the more interesting issues in college basketball and the NCAA. Some of the topics they handled included the possibility of expanding the NCAA tournament field to more than the current 65 spots, possible stipends for NCAA basketball scholarship players and possible changes to the charge rule. While fun, the segment was still informative and interesting.

That segment is the inspiration of this post. Originally, I had intended to take some anime characters and guess as to what they would each say if they were running for office. I decided against it for this post, but I might use that idea later (maybe when the national elections come up). I decided to imagine what my candidate will say if he/she ran for the office of “anime president.” Hopefully I can make this fun while being somewhat interesting.

Small Disclaimer: The below views may or may not represent the views of me or any of the members of this blog. Personally, I am very indifferent to politics. My indifference probably stems from years of living in Independent-loaded New Jersey and being the son of parents who are from a country with one of the most corrupt governments in the world (Philippines). Anyway, I meant this post to be fun so let’s keep it this way.

If my candidate is running for office of anime president, this is what he/she would say on the following issues:

Principles and Values

“Our nation needs to reunite once again under the same banner. If I am your president, I will make it a priority to bring together the various groups that divide our nation. As president, shounen fans will walk hand-in-hand with shoujo fans, yuri fans side-by-side with yaoi fans and action fans in conversation with harem fans. I will bridge the disconnect between the MAP (Moe Advocate Party) and the GOM (Grand Old Mecha) while still respecting their values. Now is the opportunity for national unity.”

Technology

“I will make this nation the great leader in technology. I propose that our greatest minds develop the world next technological development: Mobile Personal Equipment Vehicles. Project G will bring about new era in both warfare and civilian life. Scientists and researchers will finally be able fully explore their intellectual capabilities as they participate in this large project. Our economy will strengthen with the amount of new jobs project would provide. Also along with Project G, I will support the development of new technologies that continue to make us the technological leader of the world. Research and development of intelligent devices, fuzetsus and massive drills are among my top research priorities.”

Economy

“Along with my technology proposals, I have several solutions to stimulate the economy. Since our fair nation is dependent on entertainment, I will protect the rights of animators and define solid starting wages to retain those jobs. To generate new jobs, I will allow the government to give out grants to those who found and run new theme restaurants and shops. While providing new jobs, this approach will ensure the continued growth of our nation’s culture.”

Education

“If I am your president, I will make sure that every child in our fair nation is enlightened by educational value of anime. I will make selected anime and manga required education for our nation’s youth. To bring back the sense of national unity among our youth, seifuku will be a required school uniform across the nation. I would mandate swimming to be taught in every school as a reinforcement for the health of our youth and require overnight hot springs field trips as a mandatory part of every curriculum to allow our youth to bond closer together. With my education plan, no child will be left behind the next great anime enlightenment.”

Civil Rights

“I support the public expression of marriage and its civil rights for same-sex couples. If the Chikanes and Himekos wish to express their love for each other in a public fashion, they should receive the right to do so and receive the civil privileges that come along with it. As long as it does not infringe upon the rights of others, it is only democratically right to allow yuri and yaoi as civilly acceptable.”

Homeland Security

“We need to provide our military with the proper resources and personnel to continue to protect our nation. I will increase the number trained specialists defending our country. I would have Section Six command the control of our airspace and begin training and deploying more servant-class fighters and Knightmare frames along our borders. I will never leave my country in danger to Crimson Denizens or otherwise.”

Isn’t democracy great…

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5 Responses to As American as Apple Pie – Super Tuesday: Anime Edition

  1. icystorm says:

    lulz sounds like a speech to gain support, but what would the candidate ACTUALLY do after he or she is elected?

    We have deceitful bastards in anime, after all :O But then again, I guess we wouldn’t vote for them since we know all about them =P

  2. iniksbane says:

    I have one word for that.

    Awesome.

  3. […] Otakusphere: Vote Anime, a little cultural jet-lag and a big happy love fest Vote Anime! Vote now! Anime Academy is looking for your vote as the only anime candidate running in this […]

  4. Seem to me this candidate is trying to please all of the people all of the time, which is simply impossible. I’m gonna stick with voting for the extreme, fringe GOM party myself.

  5. koneko-chan says:

    animanachronism: Yeah. In the end, he sounds like a bi-partisan fake in the end, but that’s mainly because I ran out of ideas towards the end.

    Although, you guys comments have given me an idea for another post… Hm…

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